Welcome back. I’m Sherry, and I help new and evolving managers lead with presence.
Have you ever walked into a meeting and felt… something was off, even if you couldn’t put your finger on it? That subtle unease isn’t your imagination, it’s a signal. One of the most powerful ways you influence your team is by noticing and responding to these signals.
Your ears, eyes, and gut are your toolkit here, they help you tune into the dynamics of the room.
This week, we’re looking at the unspoken messages: hesitation in a reply, tension in a meeting, or a pause before someone shares an idea, and how your response shapes whether your team feels seen, understood, and safe to do their best work.
Insight: If something feels off, it probably is.
Every room has unspoken power dynamics at play: who speaks first, who stays quiet, who defers, and who’s watching whom.
Our bodies notice shifts before our brains do: the usually vocal person going quiet, a pause that lingers a beat too long, a subtle energy shift after you speak.
Those signals matter. That “something’s off” feeling? It’s your cue to get curious, listen more deeply, and respond. Ignoring it lets small tensions quietly grow into bigger problems.
Real Leadership Story: When signals speak louder than words
A manager I worked with noticed tension building on their team. Two people who used to collaborate smoothly were suddenly curt with each other. One would make a suggestion; the other would dismiss it quickly or go quiet and avoid eye contact.
At first, the manager told themselves it would blow over. People have bad days. Maybe they were overreacting. But the tension kept growing. Team meetings felt tighter. Collaboration stalled. The rest of the team started working around the friction instead of with it.
Finally, the manager stepped in. They pulled each person aside separately:
“I’m noticing some tension between you and Sarah. Is everything okay? I want to understand what’s happening.”
Both hesitated. Slowly, the story came out: a misunderstanding weeks ago that had never been addressed. One felt dismissed. The other felt blamed. Neither had said anything, but both were quietly resentful.
The manager didn’t try to fix it for them. Instead, they suggested a simple process to reset the conversation: meet in a neutral space, name what happened and its impact, listen to each other’s perspective, and agree on next steps.
Before the manager stepped in, the team was losing hours to workarounds. By responding to the signal, they recovered that lost productivity. The conversation didn’t solve everything overnight, but it opened the door to a much more positive environment. The team relaxed. Collaboration resumed.
Leadership isn’t about solving problems first. It’s about noticing, listening, and addressing what’s actually happening, before it quietly derails everything.
Know a manager who needs to hear this? Forward this issue.
To help you handle these moments with the same clarity as the manager in the story, here is a simple framework.
Tool of the Week: The 3 N’s
The 3 N’s is a simple practice for tuning into your team’s unspoken signals and addressing what you sense before it becomes a bigger problem:
Notice the Signals
Energy, posture, tone. Who’s quieter than usual? Who seems tense? What’s the dynamic between people?
Name What You See
Don’t dismiss what you’re sensing, trust it. Say it out loud:
“You seemed a bit quieter today. Is there anything you want to share?”
For new managers, calling out “tension” directly can feel aggressive or scary. Sit with the feeling first, then address it. Noticing and naming these moments is a key part of your growth as a leader.
Navigate Forward
Listen fully before problem solving. Reflect what you heard. Guide the conversation toward clarity, not just resolution.
Why it works: This practice builds trust, strengthens presence, and helps you address what you notice before it becomes a problem.
Question to sit with this week:
Think back to your recent meetings or one-on-ones. Who seemed hesitant, quiet, or distracted?
Ask yourself:
• What signals did I notice (spoken and unspoken)?
• Did I respond too quickly, or create space to understand?
• How might being heard (or not) be shaping their trust?
Write down one small shift you can make this week. Even subtle changes create outsized impact.
Reminder: Your presence is already shaping the room. Pause, notice, act with intention. Leadership happens in those moments.
Got a leadership challenge? Email me at [email protected] and I’ll tackle it in a future issue of The Present Leader.